To Wedding Party or to Knot?
Photography: Lindsay Hackney Photo
Since the start of the pandemic, we’ve seen a rise in couples all over the world downsizing not just their guest counts but also their wedding party. Due to the rise in micro-weddings and elopements- wedding parties have become almost obsolete. Having to decide whether they have the time, energy or money to accommodate any number of loved ones, many couples have elected to do the bare minimum necessary for a safe and joyful wedding celebration.
Our focus for today’s tip will be to help you decide if you want or even need a wedding party with you on your special day and offer you some alternatives. Whether you want to have a traditional wedding party, do away with one altogether or create your own unique wedding party structure - we’ve got you!
But first, what IS a wedding party?
Traditionally, a wedding party involves a combination of bridesmaids, a maid of honor, a best man/men, and the marriers’ parents and/or siblings participating in certain wedding activities together.
Wedding parties usually preclude the couple in walking down the aisle during the ceremony and sit in the front row. More often than not, members of the wedding party spend time getting ready for the day with the couple and wear pre-determined, matching attire.
Knowing this, remember that your wedding party is your own and you do not have to follow any traditional structures in planning for one.
So, without further ado, here are 3 reasons you might want to have a wedding party, 3 reasons why you might pass on one, and a few creative alternatives you could go for instead:
Photography: Lindsay Hackney Photo
HAVING A WEDDING PARTY
Create loving memories - including important friends and family members in the experience can be memorable.
Share tasks - doing this could help in alleviating overall stress and panic felt prior to or during your wedding day.
Fun pre/ post-wedding activities and events - think: wedding showers, bach parties, and rehearsal dinners and brunches (Collins, n.d.).
(K)NOT HAVING A WEDDING PARTY
Simplifies your planning - getting ready, coordinating pre-wedding activities, and getting to the right place, on time, will be much easier.
Saves you money - not having to cover the cost of your wedding party’s activities, such as getting ready, can help you reallocate funds to other areas of planning your wedding or your future together.
Less opinions - skip having to deal with lots of personalities and opinions clashing.
CREATIVE ALTERNATIVES
In lieu of a wedding party, don’t be afraid of challenging traditional constructs and creating your own traditions with some of the suggestions below:
Readings or performances by friends during your ceremony.
Assign special tasks such as walking your dog or throwing flowers down the aisle to friends in fun ways. For example, rather than having the traditional flower girl, anoint one of your manly friends with the honor of being the “flower dude.” See the video to the left for a good laugh!
Drop gendered terms for all wedding activities - similarly to assigning a traditionally feminine role to the “flower dude”, you can challenge outdated social constructs by utilizing gender-neutral terms. This can make a huge difference for those who aren’t used to feeling included or represented, making your wedding a safer and more welcoming place for everyone, including LGBTQIA+ folks!
Find alternatives for things like bachelor or bachelorette parties and consider having pre-wedding activities that are more inclusive such as a camping trip if you’re outdoorsy or a spa day for all to unwind.
Leave the option open for people you’d like by your side to wear what they want and offer all the opportunity to get their hair and makeup done- no matter their gender identity!
Make it all about family - walk down the aisle with just your parents or grandparents to honor their witnessing such a special moment instead. At the end of the day, your wedding is your own and you get to dictate how you want to prep for it. Depending on your needs, having a wedding party by your side could be very helpful and uplifting but the experience must be catered to each individual. Whether or not you choose to go for a wedding party- your loved ones will be there to celebrate you and your love, first and foremost.
Sources
Collins, Shannon. (n.d.). LGBTQIA+ affirming language guide for wedding vendors. Shannon Collins. Retrieved 04/27/2021 from https://www.shannoncollins.com/inclusivity/lgbtq-inclusive-language-guide-for-wedding-vendors/
Kris & Will’s Wedding
Photography: Lindsay Hackney Photo; Venue: Marble House Project; Design + Planning: Ehmann Events; Florals: Nectar and Root; Dress: Andrew GN; Hairpiece: Siren Sais; Rings: Mociun; Groom's Attire: Suit Supply, Dazi USA; Calligraphy: Beth Drucker; Catering + Cake: Vermont Farms Catering; Rentals: Borrowed Blu, Vermont Tent, Classical Tents; Music: Silver Arrow Band; Stylist: Sabrina Helena Bacon; Ceremony Decor: Verdant View.
